How to Start an Effective Tinder Chat

Tinder is five years old this year and it’s still flying high. It is still the default app for most people under 50 who want to flirt or hang out. If you’re new to the dating app and want to learn how to meet people, swipe right and then start a Tinder chat, you’re in the right place!

Let’s say you’ve read other Tinder guides on TechJunkie, ranked your profile, have some quality pictures, have no obvious social ills, and can play nicely with others. How to start a chat on Tinder?

We all know ‘Hello, how are you?’ it just won’t cut it and will probably cause you to ignore it right away. Also, ‘Hey, I like your picture, want to hang out tonight?’ It’s not likely to work because it’s so fast. While one percent might say yes, you’ve already alienated the other ninety-nine for the entire time.

A little psychology first.

Likes and dislikes on Tinder

Tinder is used by all kinds of people for a variety of reasons. Singles use it for socializing and dating, while others just use it to hang out. Some use it to get revenge on the cheaters, the other half use it. Some use it for validation purposes only, because it feels good to be swiped right.

You don’t know why the person you swipe over is using Tinder. They can tell you on their profile but it’s impossible to tell if that’s true. Also, when you start a conversation, you don’t know what mood the other person is in. They can be in a great mood and open to anything, they can still be in the grieving phase of a relationship, and they can hate everyone. We should keep all this in mind when starting a conversation.

timing is everything

Now that you get the picture, let’s talk about timing right away. Responding as soon as you are confronted only shows desperation. It is much, much better to wait a bit before starting a conversation. Studies differ in their opinions, but range from waiting 24 hours to 48 hours.

Wait as long as you can before sending a message to your match. If you can wait 24 hours, your success rate will increase exponentially.

The only time this doesn’t work is if you or your partner are traveling and using Tinder in a place where you won’t be around forever. Then start a chat after an hour or so.

Starting a Tinder chat

Finding that opening line may take longer than putting together an entire profile. It doesn’t have to be this hard though. Here are a few tips for starting the first conversation.

Look carefully at the profile and pictures. Look for common interests, shared histories, or anything in common. Use this in the opening line. For example, if one of your profile photos shows a guitar in the background and you’re playing the guitar, that’s your start. If they’re wearing the Dallas Cowboys blouse and you love football, that’s a start. Look and read carefully to get hints.

Complements take you everywhere. Both girls and boys like to be complimented if they are sincere. Men should avoid complementary looks whenever possible. Girls can get away with more than that. Complete a pet, a feature of the biography, such as a master’s degree, or another element of the profile.

Check yourself before you hit submit. Tinder is an investment. It’s an investment of time, effort, and often money, so getting the most out of it is crucial. To keep a conversation flowing, you need to check before sending it. Ask yourself, how would that person receive this message? Am I being too forward or direct? Is it easy to understand? Seen as overconfident or arrogant? am i myself? This last one is very important.

time your answers. Replying to a message within five seconds will seem awkward if you’ve managed to wait 24 hours before starting a conversation. Allow five minutes off and then gradually reduce the time as the conversation flows. The more messages you share, the faster you can reply because it will be of interest to you.

There are many websites that offer great first lines and conversation openings. Some are really smart or funny. The problem is that the person you’re trying to talk to may have read the same websites and know exactly what’s a line and what’s real. If you suspect you’re using a line, your chances of success with that person are reduced.

It’s always better to just be yourself, pay attention to the profile, and use common ground to start a conversation. It works in real life, so it works on Tinder too!