How to Write a Great First Message and Get a Reply on Tinder 1

How to Write a Great First Message and Get a Reply on Tinder

Want to know what to say when you get a match? Stuck on finding the opening lines or making the first move? Want to know how to write a great first message on Tinder?

Now that dating apps are mainstream and everyone is using them, you no longer need to keep your criminal secret and go it alone. Now that dating apps are mainstream and everyone is using them, there has never been a more competitive, cutthroat environment in which flirts should work. You have to work really hard to stand out and get that coveted right swipe.

In theory, dating apps greatly expand the playing field. You can reach and interact with many more people than in real life. In reality, dating apps are filled with rejection, awkward people, ghosting and short sparks of happiness as well as long disappointments. But we all use them anyway. It’s like the lottery. You really need to be in it to win, and you feel like you might miss out if you don’t.

How to Write a Great First Message and Get a Reply on Tinder 2

Tinder opening lines

Even though Tinder has gamified dating, the same rules apply here as in real life. You should appear normal, friendly, and flirty. Any icebreaker or opening line should avoid being spooky or lame, and you should make your personality loud and clear without being too loud.

Here are some ‘rules’ to keep in mind when you get a match.

Trust is key

Just like meeting someone in real life, you have to look confident even if it isn’t. Balance self-confidence with self-loathing and you won’t have to stay on Tinder for long. Just make sure your confidence doesn’t slide into arrogance.

Hey

No just no. Never, ever start an opening line on Tinder with hey. They will hear it a million times and it will never work. Simply sending a ‘Hey’ indicates a lack of effort, imagination and interest. Anything that won’t get you a date.

humor to win

Everyone responds well to humor, and if you can be funny and get it done, you’ll be victorious on Tinder. If your opening line includes a witty or witty opening, you’ll enjoy your time on Tinder.

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Be yourself

While people in an app may not seem like real, they are. Tinder is just a gateway to other things and not an end in itself. That means no matter what you say, promise or imply on Tinder, you’re going to have to succeed in real life. Free yourself from the effort and just be yourself.

How to Write a Great First Message and Get a Reply on Tinder 3

Writing a great first message on Tinder

With all that in mind, how do you write a great first message on Tinder? Here are some ideas.

ask a question

Take the time to look at all of their pictures and read their profiles. Then find a question to ask them. Better if you can add humor or wit to the question. This is an ideal opener as it shows that you actually read their bio, took the time to absorb what they wrote, and want to learn more.

arouse reaction

Provoking a reaction takes some thought, but if you can get it done it’s extremely effective. Make them laugh, make them choke on their coffee, make them see ‘awww’. The reaction you get is entirely up to you, but if you can get them to react, you will be memorable. That’s the key to success on Tinder.

be weird

It’s not weird like taxidermy in your parents’ basement, a little further to the left. Take something from their bio or profile photo and leave a left field comment. Naturally this is probably the hardest to achieve if you’re not left fielder, so it’s best left to left fielders. But if you want to stand out, being different is a very effective way to do it.

Prepare some canned responses

Controversial I know, but I’ve used them very effectively. Find an opener or two that covers the above points and keep them somewhere on your phone or computer. Then, when you need it, refine it to reflect your match and then use it. The advantage here is that you can write something interesting in the cold light of the day without feeling pressured to find something cool. You also have the luxury of mirroring, editing and polishing as you see fit.

trust your gut

Sometimes you have to ignore all the advice when it comes to writing a great first message on Tinder. Sometimes you have to go with your instincts and write whatever comes to your mind. This may often be the most natural, real thing the person has heard all day or all week and will give you that date. Just don’t forget to filter yourself first!

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There is no ‘perfect’ way to write a great first message on Tinder. The closer you are to your true self, the better, and if you can do this while coming across as someone to introduce to the other person’s friends, you’re on the road to success!