Looking to take your best step when it comes to Tinder? If you’ve found this article, you’ve probably found countless other articles that break down your favorite photos and tell you everything you did wrong. Are you adding too many or too few selfies? Does a group photo of you and your friends at the beach help or hurt your luck? How about the black and white filter you used for your favorite Paris shoot? Of course you can’t see her face but she looks classy, right?
Let me stop you there. Of course, there are photos that are more or less flattering. No doubt people who find you on Tinder will have definite opinions about what they see. But at the end of the day, the only real hard and fast rule to follow is “be yourself”.
In this post, we’ve included some tips on choosing and configuring your Tinder photos to get you started, along with a few tips to watch out for and get a little bit of. Just remember to stick with you and have fun. The best first impression is the real one.
The Psychology of Tinder
While researching this topic myself, I came across several sites that actually try to psychoanalyze the Tinder user by age, gender, or vague personality type. While searching for the perfect Tinder profile, you’ve probably found some too.
One of the more popular theories involves some archaic Paleolithic approaches to gender psychology. Of course, there are some studies on the subject, but mostly it can be summarized as “men want to spread love, women want to make up”. “Men want virtuous and loyal women, women want strong and stable men.” You can see where this is going. But in this post of the Mad Men world, I think we can offer at least some hope that our potential Tinder dates are more advanced than that.
If that’s not enough, then you have research trying to figure out whether your photos draw you as an introvert or extrovert, sensitive or confident, inquisitive or cautious. First of all, huh. I don’t think anyone in the history of social media has ever thought that you can’t draw inferences about their personality from someone’s photos. Second, if you’re really trying to be yourself and not just painting the image of your ideal mate, then who cares how you might be tagged? What matters is whether the other person likes what you have to offer.
In short, stop trying to overanalyze your life. Do not include your Myers Briggs personality type from the corporate test you took. Relax.
Tips You Can Get With a Grain of Salt
All that being said, there are some general guidelines you may find useful when creating your profile. The following tips are extremely popular, so maybe they have something for them. However, do not take them to heart too much.
1. Do Not Include People of the Opposite Sex
Is that smart guy to your left your brother, best friend, or old friend? Who knows? Anyone can tell you that including photos of you and your ex-flames is probably not recommended for your dating profile. And someone looking at your profile without your knowledge probably wouldn’t know who that weird guy is. This is why many people advise Tinder users to avoid this question altogether.
Then again, if you’re like me, then most of your friends were of the opposite sex throughout your 20s. If I followed this rule, I would either have to crop my favorite photos into abstract shapes or have to photoshop all my Sex in the City boyfriends. At the end of the day, be you. If that potential Tinder match can’t get past the idea of you being in the same room with another guy, then it’s just not worth it.
2. Don’t Be Controversial
What exactly is the controversial photo? It can be anything from a selfie taken at a political rally to a flashy portrait of you smoking a cigarette. In short, any photograph that might illuminate an interest or event that may be distasteful to some should be carefully considered.
This is a difficult situation. A little discussion can hurt or help you, depending on the situation and your goals. Ask yourself if you want to create a broad network or attract a specific person. The whole point of avoiding controversy is not to offend or fire anyone, but if the activity, interest, or political belief in question is near and dear to your heart, then you may want to make sure the people who swipe right are on the same page.
3. Say No to Selfies
I’ve heard this a lot. Apparently, something about a selfie feels tacky, empty, or shallow. But why? You’re literally just taking a picture of yourself, and it’s philosophically the same as asking a random stranger to do the same. If you want to avoid selfies then that’s fine. But try to worry more about what’s in front of the camera and less about who’s behind it.
My advice to you
Now that we’ve completely broken down some popular Tinder photo tips, let me give myself a few simple tips.
1. Be Yourself
Have I said that enough? Good – I’ll say it one more time. Unless you’re really into just making connections, this is advice you should live with. After all, attracting the wrong person is just a waste of time. Stop playing games and start taking ownership of who you are.
2. Show Your Face
While a classy photo of you with half your face covered in hair can definitely look sexy (and you should add that), make sure there are some photos that show your face clearly in the mix. Consider that scene in The Breakfast Club where Allison pulls her hair out of her face. Sure, it was gorgeous at first, but there’s a world of difference between shrinking violet and sparkly.
Little smile. Big smile. Smile in every conceivable way. It will brighten your face and let the person on the other end know that you are as funny as you are mysterious.
4. Cool in Filters
Filters can be fun, especially when exchanging silly photos with your friends. But they can also distract and distract from the main point of any dating profile photo: you. A little style is okay, but avoid over-filtering your photos. You want the other person to see you clearly. Also, avoid using Snapchat-style filters on your face that cover the ears and nose. If you want to show that potential date how fun you are, take a picture of yourself doing something fun. The dog face is just an escape.
5. Keep It Recent
You may be unwittingly preying on your dates. Sure, you want to show your best face and maybe you loved that cute picture of you at the office Christmas party six years ago, but you resist the urge to use it. Don’t offer Tinder users a tour of your biggest hits. When you have your first date, show them the person they’re meeting with.
6. Start Strong and Finish Strong
Your first and last photos in the series are the most important. The first photo is the first impression. This is the photo that grabs the viewer’s attention and makes them look further. It should be strong and show its face clearly. After that first photo, you can be a little more creative and daring in your photo choices. But be sure to come back to a strong and clear picture for you to finish. Remind the audience how charming and friendly you are. This is the photo they’re most likely to remember.
Try to be gentle with yourself and remember to be friendly and inviting when you play a match. This is not Miss America or Mr. Universe. It’s supposed to be fun, and if one fish escapes, the others will take their place. Just remember that you are a hunter too.