We all know the process of sending someone a message on Tinder. We swipe right, wait for a match, and then start a conversation. If experience is anything to go by, not many people know How To message someone on Tinder. What to say, whether to use a single liner and how to open a dialog with that match.
That’s what we’re going to cover today. I won’t tell you exactly what to say, as it will depend on you and your match. What I’m going to cover are some basic tips for making that first move and creating the first message.
Forward the message on Tinder
The first thing to consider when using a dating app like Tinder is that it’s not a game. It’s not a competition to see how many times you swipe or how many dates you can go on in any given month. Ideally, you should pretend to meet someone at a bar. You catch their eye, you get the signal, and you act. You have a chance to make a good impression, or it’s all over.
Treat Tinder the same way and you’ll put yourself above 90% of other users.
Forget pickup lines
The second biggest tip for success when messaging someone on Tinder is forgetting single lines. There are dozens of websites that promise guaranteed success, all with unrivaled pickup lines and speech openings. Use them at peril. They may work with the odd match, but they won’t do much for you.
Essentially, you only need to remember one thing. If you’ve found and read these ‘guaranteed’ buying lines online, the person you want to talk to may have read them too. Copying and pasting a cheesy line won’t go well if they find out what’s going on.
Tailor Tinder messages to your audience
Pickup lines copied from websites are not working. General openers say ‘Hello, how are you?’ They show a lack of imagination and effort. Most people are lazy and it often shows. If you make the effort and tailor your message to your match, you will again place yourself above the majority of Tinder users.
When you find a match, look at the profile and read it. Look at all the pictures and create a picture of the person you are looking at. Then find something on that profile that you can use as an opener. This will of course differ in each match, but if you want to be successful you will need to invest time and effort.
Once you get used to it, you’ll be able to scan a Tinder profile and pick something to use in less than a minute, so it’s not exactly a waste of time. You’ll have to spend a lot more time working on someone at a bar or club, so why is Tinder different?
Use humor if you can, don’t if you can’t.
Everyone loves a sense of humor, but only if it flows naturally. If you’re not naturally funny, be careful with how you use humor, because it can sound lame or creepy. It is ideal as it shows a humorous opening, intelligence and character, and is a good way of encountering. Just make sure your opener isn’t too sarcastic or caustic. At least get the conversation flowing before using this!
ask questions
We all like to be valued more than our looks, so using questions is the best way to show interest. You can use a question as an opener as long as it’s clever, as long as it doesn’t just refer to looks, shape, or something vulgar. Asking questions about them as a person also shows them that you are not only interested in superficial things. Even if all you want to do is hang out, showing interest is a great way to get there.
Complements really take you everywhere
In fact, I must say that mindful complements get you everywhere. Definitely complement your partner, but do it about something other than looks. Complete an achievement, a pet, a car, or anything other than a physical one. If you play it right, you’ll have plenty of time to complete their appearances when you meet. Save it for then.
Tinder is an app, but it’s not a game. It can be played solo, but you have to hide it well if you want to be successful on the platform. There is no guarantee of success in dating, but if you follow the tips above, you will already stand out from the crowd. The rest is up to you!
