How eHarmony Matching Works

Meeting someone on an online dating app is just as common as meeting someone else. And there are so many applications out there. Still, just meeting someone is one thing. Creating a meaningful link is another. If a relationship is what you’re looking for, eHarmony has an excellent track record.

eHarmony has been around for nearly two decades and has more than four million monthly visitors. They have a scientific approach to matching people. But what are the exact steps to take to get a match in eHarmony?


One of the things that makes eHarmony so different from other dating apps is the lengthy surveys users have to fill out during the sign up process. For a long time, it was necessary to answer every question in order to continue the registration process. Recently, users no longer need to answer every question, they only need to answer as many questions as they feel comfortable with.

Of course, the more questions answered, the greater the chance of a more compatible match. But what do these questions look like? They call it the 29 Dimensional Questionnaire and it consists of 155 questions in total. These questions are to evaluate users in six areas:

  1. Compatibility
  2. Partner proximity preference
  3. Level of sexual and romantic passion
  4. extroversion and openness
  5. the importance of spirituality
  6. How happy and optimistic they are

Question Examples

Answering so many questions about yourself at once can be overwhelming. First, the question is asked about basic things. You create your profile with your email and location, and then the first 14 questions are about who you are, what you do, and what explains your current situation.

You answer questions about your ethnicity, education level, employment and income. You can also tell them what kind of thing you are looking for. Are you a single parent and want to start a family? You can also indicate whether you smoke and how often you smoke.

But after those first 14 questions, it’s time to dive into more serious topics that will better determine whether you’ll be matched on eHarmony. You will be asked about your passions in life and the things you are most grateful for. You can also answer questions about what kinds of things you do in your spare time and how well certain phrases describe you.

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And since so many people are getting divorced these days, you’ll be asked if you want to consider someone who already has kids. There are also questions about physical appearance, whether you are satisfied with yourself and how important it is to you in others.

Finally, you will answer a list of questions with statements you agree or disagree with and receive answers about your interests. You can also give answers about what kind of feelings you had in the past month and how skilled you are at certain things.

Matching Jobs

Do opposite poles attract?

The founders of eHarmony firmly believe that it is possible to find the right match for everyone when accurate and detailed information is provided. Naturally, one of the main prerequisites is to be as honest as possible when answering questions. Once you’re done with that, the algorithm will present you with viable options for a partner.

But for many people, this is where they worry. What about the “opposites attract” mantra? People are not very keen on looking for someone who looks like them; They get excited at the prospect of meeting someone completely different. It’s all about complementary qualities and finding the missing pieces. Not exactly. At least not according to eHarmony.

At first, opposites can attract – eHarmony is aware of this. But their philosophy is that ultimately, these differences will hinder your relationship more than benefit. This is especially evident in times of crisis or a very stressful event. How much would it bother you if your partner reacted completely differently than you expected? Issues like this can pile up and cause permanent damage to the relationship later on.

You Can’t Browse

One more thing that may surprise new eHarmony users is that it is an essential part of their matchmaking process. And this is the fact that there is no “search” option in the application. You can’t browse people and send random messages. The way it works is that eHarmony gives you several matches each day.

One of the main reasons they do it this way is the paradox of choice. Sure, having too many options is fine, but too many choices can lead to indecision. Another reason they don’t allow users to explore on their own is that matchmaking systems optimize the likelihood that someone will respond to your message and vice versa.

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So, it’s not just about compatibility matching, but the algorithm actually counts the probability of two people starting a conversation. The biggest complaint that can be made here is that sometimes you don’t get as many matches as you want in a day. However, sometimes it can be about where you live and how much information you provide initially.

Harmony Matching Studies

Finding the Right Match (Not Easy)

Of course, eHarmony does everything it can to find someone you can love in the long run. They do not specialize in casual relationships. The main purpose of the company is to introduce you to someone you might consider marrying or living with. That means looking for what can bind you and what can’t. Therefore, honesty is important and it is also important to know exactly what you are looking for.

Have you ever used eHarmony? Or another dating app? Let us know in the comments section below.