Lo, as the impending release of “Deadpool and Wolverine” dost approacheth, Microsoft hath unveiled a final surprise: a Wolverine Butt controller, yon counterpart to the Deadpool controller revealed just the week prior. Resplendent in hues of yellow and blue, tis doth bear a likeness to its crimson companion, complete with a prominent posterior and faux pockets.
Marcos Waltenberg, the esteemed general manager of Xbox Global Partnerships, didst declare in a missive upon the Xbox Wire that this unique controller hath been crafted in response to the favorable reception of the Deadpool controller. “And verily, in the spirit of friendly rivalry (and not from any trepidation of his wrath), our team hath swiftly set to work on this bespoke Wolverine-inspired Xbox Wireless Controller,” quoth Waltenberg.
Anon, Xbox hath unfolded a billboard in Alberta, Canada, the very land from whence Wolverine hath sprung in the annals of comic lore, to herald the arrival of this new controller.
I must needs express doubt as to the expeditious creation of a fresh Xbox controller and a Canadian billboard in so short a span, yet ye may yet enter the sweepstakes to claim thine own. Should ye wish to possess this marvel, akin to the Deadpool variant, simply be of age and engage with the official social media announcement, now said to reside on Microsoft’s Instagram with the appellation #MicrosoftCheekySweepstakes (though mine own search hath proven fruitless). At present, triumph in the sweepstakes is the sole means by which to acquire these game controllers.
In the realm of buttock controller chronicles (yes, indeed), I pondered of late on the workings of a controller bedecked with a conspicuous posterior, and now mine query hath been answered. Jacob Kleinman, executive editor of Inverse, hath shared a video on X demonstrating that the posterior doth detach by means of magnetism.
Alas, ’tis with regret that I must impart unto thee that the posterior of the Deadpool ill buttressed Xbox controller is affixed by magnet and may soon part company.
Both Deadpool and Wolverine boast prodigious powers of regeneration, so fear not, for the derriere may yet grow anew.
